“Salt”
Written by Kurt Wimmer; Directed by Phillip Noyce; Stars Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber and Chiwetel Ejiofor. Story: A CIA officer’s loyalty is tested when a defector accuses her of being a Russian spy. the officer goes on the run, using all her skills and years of experience as a covert operative to elude capture.
Seen by Adam and Lars July 25, 2010
LARS:
In what has been one of the worst film summers in human memory, here comes another flick that’s so dumb that I’d consider standing outside of a theatre to beg people not to give their money to Hollywood to produce more of this.
The problem, as so often before, is in the writing. I think there’s a backlash coming. During the trailer for some inane looking film called “Devil”, the words “From the mind of M. Night Shyamalan” came up on the screen, and a collective groan, followed by laughter, rolled through the theatre. Shyamalan has now gone from being a promising director to being a laughing stock. And he only has himself and his incredibly bad recent movies (“The Last Airbender” and “The Happening”) to thank for it. They are so inanely written that even millions of dollars of special effects and name actors won’t sway the public to part with their hard earned dollars anymore. At least I hope so. But then “Transformers 2” happened, so I could be wrong…
In fact, this recent slew of more-than-usually stupid movies may end up having the opposite effect. They will make people stay at home to watch more TV. TV is where the writers have power these days. A lot of the show runners are writers and they enjoy working in the longer, serialized formats, where you can tell deeper and more engaging stories. Look at shows like “True Blood” and “Mad Men” to name just two that will keep me at home on a Sunday night instead of seeing the latest slice of fromage from California. Then there’s the 3D format that Hollywood is trying to cram down our throats to ensure the survival of the theatres in this home entertainment center world we live in. If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you’ll know what I think about that, so I’ll spare you the rant (if you’ve never read this blog before, here’s the short version: there’s been a single recent movie that knew how to use 3D and that’s “Avatar”. Everything else is shit so far. Probably because there’s only one James Cameron. End of rant.)
It almost seems moot to talk in any detail about the story of “Salt”. It was originally written to star Tom Cruise, but he felt that it came too close to his “Mission: Impossible” series, so he pulled out. Then it was touted as the ‘female Bourne’. Both comparisons are apt. If Ethan Hunt and Jason Bourne had both gone ‘full retard’, that is. Evelyn Salt is the name of the double (or is it triple or quadruple) agent who goes deep, deep undercover to solve an evil Russian conspiracy to take out the USA. When did the Russians become the bad guys again, I wonder? Anyway, she kicks a lot of ass, doesn’t take many names and runs at least as much as the Cruiser has ever done in any of his movies. So ADD sufferers will feel right at home with this one.
A word about Angelina Jolie. She’s actually a talented actress in the right roles (“Gia”, “Girl, Interrupted” and “Changeling” come to mind). The problem is that she basically looks like an alien entity’s attempt at creating the perfect human female. Every desirable trait is exaggerated to near anime proportions on her face and disappearing into the crowd, like a good spy should be able to do, is just not possible for her. Even disguised as a man, she looks otherworldly. This works to her advantage in movies like “Wanted”, where reality has left the building from scene one. Here, it makes the whole thing unbelievable, even if Angelina gamely tries her best. But to see her fight Liev Schreiber, who is probably twice her weight and could most likely eat her whole and still have room for a snack, just isn’t convincing. Even if Angelina tries to outgrunt Monica Seles every time she lands a punch.
The director, Phillip Noyce, is a journeyman filmmaker, who is completely hit or miss with little to no consistency. When he’s good (“Dead Calm” and “Clear and Present Danger”) he is great. When he’s bad (“Sliver”, The Saint”, “Salt”) he is awful, hiding any sense of narrative under the weight of form to try and pull a fast one on you in the hope you wont’ notice.
Two weeks from now, we’ll see if “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World” is as great as the comic book it’s based on. If not, this summer will stand out as one of the worst in the 25 years I’ve been writing about movies.
ADAM:
Ironically lacking in flavor, “Salt” attempts to be a female-driven, first offering in what Warner Brothers hopes will become a tent-pole action franchise, like the Bourne films are for Universal and the Jack Ryan films were for Paramount. Phillip Noyce, director of “Patriot Games” and “Clear and Present Danger” — arguably the best of the Ryan films is behind the camera for “Salt”, but that’s where the similarities end. The biggest differences between the aforementioned franchises and Salt is that those other films had a genuine story that made sense and compelling characters the audience cared about. “Salt” has neither of those.
It’s nearly impossible for me to sit through any movie without finding things I’d change to improve the experience. There were several moments during “Salt” when I felt the only thing that would make the experience better would be if I weren’t watching it any longer.
“Salt” isn’t sure if it wants to be a political thriller, an “innocent man on the run” movie (The Fugitive), or a “revenge” film (Payback, etc.). Thus, tone plays very unevenly and most if not all attempts at twists, turn and misdirections all seem to fall flat.
Regardless of which genre it might claim to adhere to, poor use of backstory elicits little if any support from the audience. Salt kicks ass repeatedly in the name of Russia, but in childhood flashbacks we see Salt happily being groomed for this future life rather than being harshly taken advantage of, and breeding resentment. Why should I’d give a shit about what happens to her? Go watch the opening of “The Outlaw Josie Wales,” one of my favorite movies ever. We see Eastwood at home - a small frontier cabin - with his wife and kids(it’s as the Civil War is ending). Some redlegs show up, kill the wife and kids and leave Josie for dead. The next morning, Eastwood fights back tears as he knocks makeshift crosses into his family’s graves, before setting off to make things right. Then the opening credits roll. No dialogue. Not necessary. This movie is set up and Eastwood as Josie has my support till the last frame. The Bourne series did a good job showing Jason as a victim or guinea pig who’s trying to get back his identity, and Jack Ryan is a symbol of what’s right — he’s a patriot, with a family and an idealist with a sense of what’s fair. Salt is cold and emotionless, not helped by the fact that she’s played by Angelina Jolie, who seems to be one part model, one part ninety-pound ninja and the rest alien. The action is okay, although some falls victim to “being shot to close,” and it’s not nearly enough to save this mess of a film about a possible Russian spy who might not really be a Russian spy after all. I’m still confused. Not to worry. On to the next. As for “Salt?” Dasvidanya, wouldn’t wanna be ya.
